Mama,

I miss you so much.  So many things have happened that I wish you could have been here for.  For a long time I didn’t feel like I could do anything significant without you here to acknowledge it.  But life goes on and people go with it.  I firmly dug my heels into the earth attempting to make the world come to a screeching halt because mine most certainly felt like it had.  I stood still until I was buried up to my neck in sand.

I wasn’t strong enough.  World kept moving and eventually your grandson was able to pull me out of the living grave I was trying to create for myself.  I moved forward reluctantly, my only goal, to love my child as unconditionally and wholly as you loved me.  You are still the person for whom I compare every other person on the planet and determine their goodness.  You probably always will be.

When I was younger I couldn’t imagine my life without you, sometimes I still can’t.  I am sorry my son didn’t get to spend more time with you.  When things in my life get difficult I think about that a lot.  I hope you know how much I have grown andhope you would be proud of the person I have become. I have always tried to be the person you saw me as.  You gave me hope and encouragement when it felt like the rest of the world was writing me off.

 I still think about you every day.  People say eventually you think of lost loved ones less and less.  I have not found that to be true.  I think of you often.  I know that will never change nor do I want it to.  I miss you and love you.  Happy Mother’s Day and Happy Birthday!

Teri

I’ll love you forever,
I’ll like you for always,
As long as I’m living
my mommy you’ll be.