I miss you so much. So many things have happened that I wish you could have been here for. For a long time I didn’t feel like I could do anything significant without you here to acknowledge it. But life goes on and people go with it. I firmly dug my heels into the earth attempting to make the world come to a screeching halt because mine most certainly felt like it had. I stood still until I was buried up to my neck in sand.
I wasn’t strong enough. World kept moving and eventually your grandson was able to pull me out of the living grave I was trying to create for myself. I moved forward reluctantly, my only goal, to love my child as unconditionally and wholly as you loved me. You are still the person for whom I compare every other person on the planet and determine their goodness. You probably always will be.
When I was younger I couldn’t imagine my life without you, sometimes I still can’t. I am sorry my son didn’t get to spend more time with you. When things in my life get difficult I think about that a lot. I hope you know how much I have grown andhope you would be proud of the person I have become. I have always tried to be the person you saw me as. You gave me hope and encouragement when it felt like the rest of the world was writing me off.
I still think about you every day. People say eventually you think of lost loved ones less and less. I have not found that to be true. I think of you often. I know that will never change nor do I want it to. I miss you and love you. Happy Mother’s Day and Happy Birthday!
I’ll love you forever,
I’ll like you for always,
As long as I’m living
my mommy you’ll be.