Yesterday I was reading the results of the Harris survey done for Playboy’s Sex Survey 2011. I found a lot of the information interesting and/or surprising. One of the things that stuck with me is that most of the people who were surveyed (30%), with the median age being 47 and 53% female, had only had sex with two to five partners. I assumed that most people had more sexual partners. Yet here I am with my marginally larger (than average) number.
Most of the people I am close to and have known for some time have had many more partners than I have. I spent the bulk of my youth thinking I was lacking. What I recognize now as just not being ready for sex was made even more awkward by the fact that I was not having nearly as much sex as my friends.
I in no way consider myself promiscuous. I abstained for over a decade for fuck’s sake (or not.) I do however feel like I will have more partners. I actually want more partners. I don’t mean I want to increase my number to triple digits but there will definitely be more.
It really isn’t about the number. I don’t really care about my number. It is more about experience. I definitely feel like I could use more of that… experience interacting in a particular and somewhat intimate (to me) situation. And yes ultimately I still only want one and I would like to be with that person for a good long time but I also feel like I may have missed some things by not dating more in my twenties.
I had finally resigned myself to the idea that I needed to experience more, in regards to adult human interaction. And now if I decide it is okay for me to sleep with men I am interested in does it make me whorish, slut-like? Of course it doesn’t but looking at such a small number makes me feel like maybe I just lost out. While everyone else had found something by guy number three I am saying I know I will want something beyond guy number nine. I feel like I still need to explore. Maybe I will find everything I need in one person and it may be the next guy I decide to date but he might be a way off.
I guess that only really matters if it bothers me and it doesn’t. I just thought I was average in this one area and I guess I am not. I guess I am kind of a whore, like really a whore not just a girl who talks like one. I am just kidding. I was just surprised. And let’s face it I don’t get laid enough so I will just have to deal few more notches.