The Five Date Rule

I have decided to impose a five date rule on myself from here on in.  Why five dates?  Because I really, really want to get laid and I need to stop letting my overactive sex drive get the best of me.  Having sex too quickly generally plants me in the fuck buddy zone and I already have few of those lined up so I don’t need a new one.  Any more than five dates and I could find a reason not to have sex with anyone.  Five dates may be slightly longer than I can comfortably manage. ( I can do it.)   I really need to give myself more time to make an informed decision.  I also need to stop slutting it up with guys who are willing to just spend time with me with no promise that I would ever sleep with them.

That being said, I am getting to the point where I am horny as hell and I have a date with a very attractive European on Saturday night.  (Pay no attention to the accent, Teri! He will still have an accent on the fifth date.)  So I guess I need to work on strengthening my resolve.  It has been a nearly a month since I’ve had sex and a few more weeks won’t kill me.  (At least I hope not!)

It is odd that my life has changed so drastically.  I went from not having sex for over a decade and really sort of losing interest in men to having to implement rules to restrain myself from just having sex.  (I really want to have sex!)  I want something more substantial than just sex.  I want to try for something more, something more significant.  I am going to try to make it five dates and my vagina will just have to deal with it.

Managing to Manage My Weight

When I decided I needed to settle down a little bit and just date one guy I gained weight.  I gained more weight than I wanted to gain.  I gained weight that I had managed to keep off for two years.  It wasn’t that I didn’t care about my body or the way I looked. I didn’t get lazy.  I was still exercising (and getting plenty of cardio. :P )  Still I managed to gain almost twenty pounds over a period of three months while I dated the same guy.  I am getting the weight back off.  So why do women really gain weight when in a relationship?  The most common theory is that women stop trying so hard once they feel like they are in a relationship, that they get lazy.  I lost weight and look the way I look for me, not for anyone else and I want to feel good about myself so I would never stop taking care of myself.  I do think other things can cause women to gain weight is a relationship.

Differences in Diet

As a woman who is primarily vegetarian (I occasionally eat seafood,) it can be difficult to date an omnivore especially when said omnivore only eats vegetables if they are fried.  When your diet in no way resembles  that of the man you are dating you find yourself adapting so as not have to prepare two separate meals.  Attempts to squeeze your healthier dietary choices into the joint menu are frowned upon and next thing you know you are eating lots of stuff you wouldn’t eat at home.  Fried everything is not an effective way to manage your weight.

Socializing

When women start dating a new guy there is a period of excessive socializing.  You want to show each other off, meet each other’s friends and just go out and have fun.  Typically these meet and greets happen at bars or parties.  Alcohol can be a huge factor to think about when you are watching your weight.  I often find that I might have a drink or two to relax when meeting new people.

The Comfortable Phase

Once you’ve met everyone and really start to spend some good quality time alone together, you find yourself sitting on a couch talking or cuddled up watching movies and just enjoying each other’s company.  You spend more time lying in bed in the morning.  You aren’t so eager to go out.  You become more content just spending time lounging.  This can lead to a decrease in opportunities to exercise (besides the aforementioned cardio.)

Stress

Relationships can be a source of stress even without external problems.  You worry about things like how much time you spend together.  Relationships change as everything falls into place.  The way you regard each other changes and sometimes it can cause you to worry about how everything feels.  As you get more serious, discussions of huge life changes like living together and children can add to that stress.  Many women gain weight when under a significant amount of pressure.

The potential to gain weight is just higher when you are in a relationship.  There are things that can cause you to lose control of your weight even when nothings changes about the way you manage your health.  You are still doing your best to stay healthy.  You just have to consider what else is going on in your life and still try to maintain a sense of your physical health.  You have to be flexible and adjust as is necessary.

I know many of these things had a lot to do with my weight gain and I know that I only have myself to blame.  I know how to take care of myself and what I need to do to stay healthy.  I didn’t get lazy but I also didn’t consider how spending time with someone could affect my overall health.  It is a lot easier to gain weight than to lose it.  It just comes down to the age old lesson.  You have to take care of you first.

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