I am still not completely sold on the whole online dating thing. I am warming up to the idea but it seems that I have had better luck on my own just meeting people. (And what I mean by better luck is it seems far easier for me to connect and get comfortable.) I have gone out with a few guys I have met online and never got past chatting or texting with a few others. But there are still things that give me pause in every stage of online dating. I decided to share some examples of what I think about and hope won’t happen every time I reply to a message.
- “Do you work on a chicken farm because you are really good at raising cocks?” Really? Really! This was the way one gentleman tried to introduce himself to me via message. After I stopped laughing I deleted the message and moved on. I hate those types of messages. They make me want to punch people.
- “I thought I’d take a chance and see if maybe you would like to take some time and chat with me. Maybe you aren’t a stuck bitch… maybe I am wrong.” This was an excerpt from a message during one of my first attempts at online dating like two years ago. I deleted that account right after I received the message. If you hate women why are you looking for a date? I am certain this man owns a van conversion filled with dead girls. There was probably no room in it for my body anyway.
- Him (Male/31/Straight/Married ): Any chance we could take some time and get to know each other? I love my wife very much and I am happy with our relationship. I have no intention of leaving her. I am looking for something non-committal but ongoing. Me: I have no interest in a married man. Him: Even if my wife is not interested in having sex with me? Me: That is not what I am looking for. It says on my profile I am looking for a relationship with someone who is s-i-n-g-l-e. Him: Oh! So you are close minded? No asshole! I just don’t want to help a married guy get his rocks off. I blocked him after that. He obviously couldn’t read. I have never even indicated I would be open to a FWB situation on any dating site I use and I stress that I am not interested in anyone who is not completely unattached.
- Recently I was chatting via text with a couple of guys I had met online. We weren’t anywhere near meeting but I didn’t mind texting. So one night I get a text from a number I do not recognize but he knew who I was and I assumed it was from the online dating site. He had identified himself as Chris. (Fun fact: I know five guys named Chris and only two are programmed into my phone.) I told him I wasn’t sure who he was and asked him to send me a pic. A few seconds later I get a picture text. I don’t know why this man I had never met thought I could identify him with a picture of his genitalia… but that was the pic he sent. I know most men have the potential to be colossal pigs but why would he think I wanted to see his dick? Some men really can’t think beyond their own erections.
- I was chatting with a guy over the summer and he and I went on a couple of dates. It was when I was going through my casual dating spree. He was ex-military and seemed a little obsessed with guns. He had told me several times I needed one because it wasn’t safe for me to live alone without one. I told him I had no interest in owning a gun because I would be uncomfortable having one. I believe people should have the right to own guns but I just wouldn’t feel safer with one in the house. He finally dropped it. So one night he came over and we had already decided that that night would be the night. After we had sex we sat in bed and chatted a little as I thought about how I was going to send him home shortly so I could go to sleep. I asked him if he could still be called back to active duty. “For another year. If I was going to get deployed I would be happy to go back,” he answered. “Why? So you could shoot all those big guns?” I asked rather sarcastically. He answered rather matter-of-factly, “No, so I can shoot people. “ “Okay psycho!” I blurted out rather surprised. I looked at him for some indication he was kidding but there wasn’t one. “Not innocent people.” He attempted to justify his answer. “You don’t know if you are shooting innocent people.” I said. He gave me a harsh look. I realized he was not kidding. I just had sex with a psychopath! OMG! A psychopath! I changed the subject and asked him how school was going. He started to talk about pending transfer to a school in the southern part of the state. When he finished I told him I was tired and he left. He texted me a few times after that but I didn’t respond.
Online dating has been an adventure for sure. I have met a few nice guys. One, I am sure will be my friend for quite some time but just a friend. These are some of the worst case scenarios. I have had others. They just seem to happen more frequently in the online dating world. And… I had sex with a crazy man!
JennyExiled
/ January 14, 2012I don’t know – I just look at it as another way to meet people. Sure some of those people are crazy. But some of the people I meet in real life are crazy, too. Even if a friend vouches for a guy, he can still turn out to be a total d-bag when it comes to dating. The same way a guy you meet online can turn out to be a wonderful boyfriend. Once you take things offline and into real life, it’s just like any other relationship – with all the ups and downs that come with it.
I feel like online dating has lost most of its stigma. Everyone is online now – it’s not just the freaks and weirdos. I mean… we’re there, too!
trjensen
/ January 15, 2012The post is just me laughing at it all. It seems (sometimes) the dating sites are where the crazies go to congregate. I have found myself in some interesting situations. Maybe the frequency makes it seem more overwhelming. I seriously have so many stories. Things have been said to me that no one would ever walk up to me and say. LOL!
mysterycoach
/ January 15, 2012Yah. The jerk offs really set the tone don’t they? I mean there are some pretty messed up guys out there. Women too, lets not be judgmental LOL
It’s a shame we couldn’t tag their ears like cattle so if we’re into that type of thing we’d know who they are, but if they’re not we can run screaming in the other direction. 
trjensen
/ January 15, 2012Exactly! A warning would be nice.
mysterycoach
/ January 15, 2012I had one guy tell me people don’t like his honesty but I was very beautiful (okay… that’s nice) and that he wacked off to my picture. Ooooooh … niiiice … (Insert wide eyed TMI expression here)
I remember one guy told me I’d look cute in the morning after one message back and forth. I was like, do I look all smitten with your ass like that “at all”. I said nothing, just ignored him and blocked him. While it’s nice to have someone think we’re attractive, I’m not 16 an I don’t find that “cute”. I don’t actually think I found that to be cute when I was 16 either. LOL
trjensen
/ January 15, 2012Like I said. Can’t see past their own erections. LOL! Those are both funny!!! I started talking to a guy I went to high school with about a year ago and he was getting kinda flirty then he said that he used to jack off thinking about my boobs in high school. LOL! That wasn’t weird or awkward at all.
mysterycoach
/ January 15, 2012If they make you feel uncomfortable in “any” way at all… block them. Period.
mysterycoach
/ January 16, 2012You said: “That wasn’t weird or awkward at all”
Me: HAHAHAHA!!!!
I told someone my story once and he said, “come on now, didn’t you find that to be a compliment?”
Uh… no? Not really…
trjensen
/ January 16, 2012I really don’t want to know that a guy I am sleeping with masturbates to my pictures and I have had a couple say so. I simply said, “Yeah… I don’t need to know that” but when a guy you haven’t slept with and aren’t sure you want to admits that it is just kinda’ gross. And I had a bunch of men tell me they’d love it if women would just send them pictures of their va-jays so there is another difference I guess. I orginally posted about that little gem on Facebook and guys really couldn’t see the issue. And I absolutely believe they think this behavior is a form of flattery.
mysterycoach
/ January 16, 2012I know! On all counts … I agree with you. I’ll never forward a naked picture to anyone myself. (sorry so short it’s lunch!)
thefutureofhope
/ January 15, 2012Bwahahhahahahaa. I think this day and age it is likely that everyone ends up with at least one psycho! But I will tell you guys are idiots when it comes to starting up a conversation, even online. I actually met my husband through a dating website that I was just using as an ego-boost so I wouldn’t feel lonely or ugly or any of those stupid feelings girls sometime get while single. I actually wasn’t interested in my husband at all but I found him funny. We talked for 3 months before I ever met him and even then I blew him off like crazy. Now here we are almost 3 years later… Don’t give up and keep your humor about it!
trjensen
/ January 15, 2012I know we do but it was at very vunerable moment. Now it is amusing but at that moment I was just in shock and a little scared. The things people say sometimes is just…
thefutureofhope
/ January 15, 2012as crazy as they really are
)
a2realhousewife
/ January 15, 2012I never had much luck with online dating either. Then you hear about those who do. For me it was good practice to get back in the dating game. Sure were a lot of frogs though…
Great post!
Lorna's Voice
/ January 16, 2012Oh my. I never tried an online dating site and I’m so happy, given your post! But my son Alex met his girlfriend on one of these sites and they are perfect for each other. The relationship is going very well. I guess there are success stories…
trjensen
/ January 16, 2012And I hope I may be one of them eventually… It just feels like a high concentration of men with little to no class sometimes.
nancyelizabethlauzon
/ January 16, 2012Omigod, you poor girl. I’m always amazed at these stories of how ‘icky’ some men can be. My daughter has tried online dating also, with no luck. A lot of them play head games. She’s not into the club scene, either, and we live in a city where women outnumber men 8 to 1. So now she’s trying a sports/social club, playing dodge ball. Oh, the irony. So we’ll see how that goes.
trjensen
/ January 16, 2012I know! I am not a club girl either. I don’t take men home from bars (well I did once but I dated him for a while.) I am not completely counting the internet out but it seems way harder to just meet people now a days. The guy I just went on a date with I do knpow in real life but typically my recent dates have been via the internet. I do love sports bars though. They can be a great way to get a conversation going.
naughtytashamber
/ January 16, 2012A few weeks ago I posted an ad on Craigslist, mainly just trying to make new friends. One guy messaged me back, who seemed to have a good head on his shoulders. I emailed him back asking what kind of stuff he liked to do during his free time, and his reply was “I like getting head.” I never did write back.
trjensen
/ January 16, 2012So classy! Such a gentleman!
naughtytashamber
/ January 17, 2012Haha, I know, right. Maybe I should have wrote him back after all…NOT!
mysterycoach
/ January 18, 2012May we all suggest to this guy that he become double jointed and do it himself?
Jessica Castle
/ January 16, 2012I’m so glad you’ve stopped by my neck of the woods on a few occasions. It looks like we’re on very similar paths with very similar viewpoints. I look forward to following you…
trjensen
/ January 16, 2012Thanks! I am glad I did too.
Aurora, HSP
/ January 16, 2012Holy Moses! I thought I met some loo loo losers but my goodness , that is scary stuff, t, better luck next time.
reocochran
/ February 9, 2013Just going backwards on some of the recent blogs I follow. I appreciate that you said what you did. I don’t really like snipers. Have had 2 ex-husbands that were in the military but neither liked shooting (one was a journalist and the other was an Air Force medic.) I would accidentally blurt out the same thing as you did!
trjensen
/ February 11, 2013It was the only time I’ve had someone say that. He was actually a tracker. I didn’t see him again. I have dated other men in the armed services but he was the only one who seemed to have that level of blood lust.