I Am So Screwed!!!!! @?#$!
What I want right now is for everything to go as well with Pretty Boy as it has been going. I have known PB for about six months because we have mutual friends and enemies. We went on our second date last night. We had a great time. We had planned on going to the movies but he suggested we grab a drink beforehand so we headed to a bar nearby. We had a beer and started talking. We never made it to the theater.
I like this guy a lot. I love talking to him. He is funny and intelligent and we have similar interests. I was actually nervous getting ready before our date. It has been almost two years since I have liked a man this much or this quickly. The last time I wound up broken hearted and completely emotionally shut down for nearly another six months. The potential of this makes me feel anxious and is causing me to be a little more reserved than I should be. I know he is nothing like the man who broke my heart. The similarities actually stop at how I feel.
I do genuinely like him and part of me is trying to fight it. It is too soon for me to feel this way about him and I really run the risk of completely freaking him out or totally shutting down and leaving him to assume I am not interested. I just want this one thing. I want this to work. I want to get past whatever emotional road block starts making me act all screwy once I realize I could very easily have feelings for a man.
Oh God! I really like him, like junior high, butterflies in my stomach like him. I still don’t want to rush because I need to take it slow. We are going out again next Friday. We are going to do a little shopping then he is going to make me dinner. I am excited, happy and absolutely scared shitless that I might fuck this up.
Like this:
Posted on January 21, 2012, in Dating, Me, Relationship and tagged boy, date, dating, emotion, happy, like, man, pretty, relationship, scared. Bookmark the permalink. 28 Comments.
BREATHE!! DEEP IN, SLOW OUT… Oh wait that sounded dirty! I meant breathing GESH!
Show him you are interested by keep going out and making plans and doing LITTLE things here and there. BUT, challenge yourself to see if his actions and the dates prove worthy of those feelings. Love and butterflies are the best till you step in cowshit because the blinders blocked all the tale-tell signs that he’s a cow… If ya know what I mean…
Oh look,
you said almost the same thing… See Jensen? It’s all gude …
I am trying to. You know how it is when you start getting all light headed about a guy. I know I need to keep my perspective and I am definitely trying to.
relax and enjoy the ride.. for all you know, the guy might just be as scared as you..
I kinda’ think he is.
You are so cute.
Breath… breath and remind yourself to take your time and enjoy him. Always be yourself, always, always be yourself. Cuz the boy likes you that way right? Yes… 
More importantly, you like you that way too… yes?
I know, I know… you’re nervous and the good news is that you’re smart enough to know that he’s not that other person. This is a new person and you can take your time, breath, try to enjoy it and you can let him in by degrees. There’s nothing wrong with walking … taking a stroll and getting to know a person slowly.
Giggle! How cool is this! LOL :!!!!!!
He definitely isn’t the douche bag. I just feel like a silly little girl about it and I need to stop that. I know he was interested in me before I ever realized he was. I most certainly wasn’t trying to get his attention then but appearently I still had it so I need to keep that going.
I’m happy you’ve found someone you REALLY like. That’s so cool and sweet. I hope it goes well. I’m gonna cross my fingers and wish you the best.
Thank you Totsy! I am just trying to keep some perspective. As long as I do I will be fine.
Remember you have it goin’ on and you are worth his time and effort. Enjoy, you will not sabotage a good thing. I am happy you had a great time together.
I am with the other commenter…BREATHE!
Relax!…you’re super cute and totally worth it. Don’t sell yourself short ’cause he’s a looker.
CONFIDENCE IS SEXY! (men dig that!)
Good luck!!!
Ditto
I am overly confident 99.9% of the time, hence the constant accusations that I am an ego maniac. LOL. If anything I was more apprehensive because of his looks. I honestly believe he and I want the same thing and we are both willing to work for it. I can feel that he wqnts me to know he is serious about the potential in this and I am scared I am wrried I might blow it. So far so good. We have been friends for a whil and he has always felt like he was interested in me. I just wasn’t time.
Most of us have been in your shoes. For me, I had to make a total shift in my thinking to “does this guy deserve me?” and this is my little quest to find out. Also, I’m very careful not arrange my schedule around his and to be very cautious in daydreaming of what it might become. I deliberately stop myself and focus on something else to keep a healthy perspective. It’s not easy but it helps me to keep it cool instead of having to fake playing it cool.
You are absolutely right! My perspective is what I am trying to keep a handle on. I have been telling myself base this off what you see and not what you feel. Men tend to be better at that. I am just trying to enjoy his company and that we are still wanting to spend time together.
I feel the same way! It’s scary to actually like somebody again and know that you could possibly be hurt again. Taking things slow is smart! I’m excited to read about Friday night!
It is one of those situations where you just really like someone, where you are overcome by this person. He and I are coming from the same place. A series of so so relationships that didn’t work because we either tried to force them to or were just lonely and let something go on long enough that we invested more than we realized until it was too late. I think we both feel like we have been hurt by people who shouldn’t have ever been a in a position where they could and we are both feeling super reserved as result.
I just like him and I know there is potential for it to go somewhere. I just don’t want to lose my perspective but right now that is kind of like holding water in my hand.
I can feel your panic right through the screen! I hope it works out for you:)
I can feel your tension and how much you want this to work. I know that feeling on instant attraction. Breathe Breathe Breathe. You are great. He will think the same thing.
Thanks! It is so strange but something women understand and men don’t. Sure I have liked other men between the douch bag and PB but it isn’t the same feeling I had for these two. It is more intense, more consuming, instantly more potential to get really hurt kinda’ like.
Oh. How I am familiar with your phrase “potential to get really hurt.” It’s part of the risk we take in making ourselves vulnerable to love. Getting up and dusting ourselves off as it were. Easier said than done, I know. But if it helps any, I had to do it after a 9 month relationship (cheater), then two more in the past two years and those two, I knew, one of them for two F’ing years. It didn’t help. I still didn’t see the hurting coming. Terri, I really hate to say it but for your own protection, guard your heart, my love, you can live with people for three decades and still not know who they really are until the skeletons fall out of the closet. How do I know this? Because I did that, too. Just walk lightly, with joy in your heart, completely enjoy yourself, let yourself savour all the lovely moments as you learn, question and grow to whatever outcome the relationship leads to. Besides, I believe all we ever really have is now. Be here now, remember your joy and hold back a little something of yourself for yourself, that’s all I know to do. Wish I could say cut loose and fly with it but I’ve worn those shoes so recently, only to have him phone and rant at me out of the blue, then stand me up for 9 F’ing hours only to say “it’s part of the package, your boyfriend forgets his cell phone.” I knew him two years. I just shouldn’t even keep talking. Sorry I blogged on your blog. Wishing you all the very best of love and joy in everything with everyone in your world! It’s the “least” you deserve and don’t you dare forget that
xo
I know I need to protect myself. I have been hurt too many times but the effed up thing is I don’t want to have to. I am going to do my best because I like my heart and I don’t like feeling hurt but… I wish it didn’t have to be that way.
Cool
It’s kind of exciting and fun to go on dates and discover you really like the person, huh?!
It was a suprise. I like it. It has just been a while since I have liked a guy this much this quickly.
Personally I find it is best not to over think things, let things happen at the speed they do and don’t plan for the fall out until it happens. You have got to jump with both feet!!!!
Have I mentioned I am slightly self-obsessed and overthink a lot? LOL! I am trying not too.
Just wishing you good luck!!!
Don’t rush or take things too slow. Find your pace.
Thanks. I am getting there.