I have a lot of male friends. Male friends are the men in my life that I do not want to have sex with, decided I wouldn’t have sex with or already had sex with and don’t want to have sex with anymore. I don’t really believe people who are attracted to each other can be friends. Some of you will argue with me about this but that is how I function.
The only men I am really friends with are the ones I have no interest in romantically. I can honestly say the idea of having sex with the guys I have solid friendships with makes me a little queasy. I have lots of attractive friends but for whatever reason I decided there was no way in in hell I was ever gonna’ let you see me naked. I have never changed my mind and decided that I did, in fact want to have sex with one of my guy friends.
If I meet a man and I am interested in him then we could never really be friends because the truth is I probably spend a lot of time thinking about him naked. If I want to see him naked then I am not going to open up to him the way I would someone who I considered a friend. I want something from him that I don’t want from a platonic relationship, (not penis… okay… well I want that too) a deep emotional and physical connection.
Most of my guy friends understand that I would never nor do I ever want anything other than a platonic relationship and they are okay with that. If they aren’t okay with a friendship they typically go away. I understand. If I wanted something more with than friendship with a guy and he told me it was never going to happen then I wouldn’t stick around. I have never stayed friends with a guy who I wanted to date who said he just wanted us to be friends. I just don’t do that.
I know within about two minutes of meeting a guy if I would ever have sex with him. Sometimes I think I would sleep with someone then change my mind but I have never decided to have sex with someone when my first inclination was that I wouldn’t. My male friends and I have way closer relationships than I do with some of the guys I have dated. I want them in my life. They offer a perspective my female friends and guys I have dated cannot. They are an important part of my life. I get along well with guys platonically.
I know that many of the guys I call friends are interested in me romantically but they have graciously accepted that being in my life in some capacity is better than us not knowing each other. That is big deal to me. It is something I am unwilling to do so I have a great deal of respect for the men in my life that are there simply because they enjoy the pleasure of my company. Now… if I could only find a guy I want have sex with that has the same mindset. (…You know what I mean!)