My whole approach to dating since I have decided I am somewhat ready for a full blown relationship has been pretty simple.   I tend to be attracted to men who have a glaring void in some aspect of their lives.  It doesn’t necessarily imply they have drama, they are just missing something and I feel like I can occupy that space.

This is just part of who I am.  I want to take care of people and if I see some area where I can help I am typically going to try to do so.  The catch is, as I am learning, not everyone wants or needs help and taking care of, even if I notice something seems to be missing.  Actually someone coming into your life and trying to address certain issues can be quite annoying and intrusive.  It can also be something someone appreciates initially and takes for granted as a relationship progresses.

I have been trying to occupy a place in someone’s life because I see a place I fit rather than working on the dynamic of myself and my partner as a couple and letting my partner determine where and how I fit into his life.  I can’t decide that I want to be in someone’s life in a certain capacity and only build a relationship based solely off that aspect of a man’s life.

If someone doesn’t ask you for help you need to wait until they are willing to accept it.  Maybe that isn’t why they are interested in you at all.  By overstepping your boundaries you are far more likely to push someone away.  I need to focus less on where I can help and more on how I fit in to someone’s life.  Just filling a void doesn’t make an instant relationship, even when it is accepted.  Working together creates a relationship.

I don’t need to know how and where I fit in when I start to date someone because even if I do meet a specific need everything changes as a couple bonds. I just need to appreciate that someone enjoys spending time with me as much as I enjoy spending time with him.