Random Bits of (Very Unnecessary) Information
One day, while at work, I was sitting at my desk checking in books when a man about my age came in with his three year old son. He spoke to me for several minutes. He asked a little about how I came to live in this small community, how I enjoyed it and what I did for fun. They were general feeler questions that I didn’t mind answering because I like feeling like men are interested in me. I sometimes fear I may just be slipping into the dating abyss and become completely invisible to men. It seems dumb but I feel sorta’ shut off when it comes to men. I am still not my witty, charming, dynamic self.
He sat down in the children’s section with his son and I could hear him reading to the boy. I have always appreciated, as a single parent, the effort put forward by other single parents to engage their children. I spent many a long day, in the library with my son, reading and talking about books. It is nice to see parents doing productive things with their children. I always felt it was important.
After a while, he made his way back to my desk. He explained that he had custody of his son and that he only planned on being in the area for a short period of time. I really wasn’t interested in him but I didn’t mind chatting. His son called him back over to the books. He had selected another book to read. His dad ushered him toward to table that sat adjacent to my desk. As he was reading to his son, they got to a line in the book. “The dinosaur brushed his teeth.” He then added, “That is something daddy always forgets to do.”
Sometimes the things people say astonish me. Why would you spend twenty minutes chatting a girl up then make a comment about your poor personal hygiene in front of her? That is just gross. I spent the duration of his stay in the library marveling at his lack of common sense. When they settled on some books they stepped over to my desk. As I checked them out he smiled at me and said he hoped that he would see me again soon. I gave him a quick smile and they left. “I hope not,” I mumbled as they exited.
It seems this would go without saying but here goes… If you are trying to get a feel for someone you think might be interested in you don’t say things, in their presence that’ll totally gross them out. Don’t offer information they don’t need. It is gross that you don’t brush your teeth but to announce it is just stupid.
I have a blogger friend who asked why the girl he was dating needed at least an hour to get ready for anal sex. I was dumbfounded. I wasn’t confused that she might need some prep time. I can think of several reasons that might be. I was appalled that she told a guy she was casually dating she needed prep time. I don’t understand why she thought it needed to be said at all. Why does your date need to know you need to “prep” for sex. If you’ve discussed sleeping together then all your partner needs to know is that you consent to said sex. He doesn’t need to know you have to give yourself an enema (For Fuck’s Sake!) or that you need time to get things loosened up. (WTF!)
When it comes to dating, less information really is the best policy. If you have a communicable disease you should be honest… You should just be honest but don’t tell people things that will gross them out. You shouldn’t tell people things that aren’t necessary or that will make them wonder what you are up to. Keep things simple and fun.