More Awkward Situations: The Squirting Story

couch“Shit!” I mumbled as I stared at the huge wet spot on my sofa.  I bent down and placed my hand on the spot.  It was still pretty wet.  “Shit, shit, shit!” I said out loud.  I grabbed a towel, laid it on the wet spot and pressed all the weight I could into the towel.  I removed the towel and checked the spot again.  It was still wet but not as bad as it had been.  It was still going to be noticeably damp for quite a while.

The wet spot roughly the ten inches in circumference wasn’t going to dry anytime soon and I had invited my niece to spend a few nights and have Thanksgiving dinner with me. She usually slept on the sofa. We also spent a great deal of time just sitting around chatting. There was no way anyone would be sitting or sleeping on my sofa that night.  I wasn’t worried about explaining what had happened.  I would simply ay I had spilt something on the couch. That was lie but I couldn’t and wouldn’t explain what really happened to a sixteen year old.

fire hoseA little while before I had to set out to pick my niece up it had occurred to me that I wouldn’t be having any orgasms for the week she would be here.  I decided I better get one in before she got there.  I needed to make it quick so I grabbed a toy, went to a porn site and got comfortable on the couch.  About three minutes later my legs were shaking as I started to climax.  As I finished and began to pull the toy out of my still contracting pussy.  As I did so it tightened, practically pushing the toy out. “Oh no!” I half groaned as I started to squirt.  I put my hand between my legs trying to stop the flow of liquid shooting out from between my legs.  This redirected the flow of the liquid quickly spraying the couch rather than spraying the wall in front of me.  I could feel the puddle of fluid collecting under my ass.

sprinklerI laid on the couch for a few moments still trembling and enjoying the after effects of my huge orgasm.  I then sat up and realized the fairly moderate pool of ejaculant was now soaking into me couch.  I tossed the toy aside and grabbed a towel, soaking up as much of it as I could.  I stood for a moment staring at the spot and checked again to see how wet the couch still was.  My squirting had become an almost every time occurrence during masturbation but I could usually limit or stop it by keeping whatever I was using (toy, fingers…) inside me while I was contracting.  I didn’t do that this time.

lake michiganI hadn’t been thinking clearly and now my couch looked like Lake Michigan.   If I want to watch porn I have to do it in the living room because my laptop doesn’t get a very good wi-fi signal otherwise.  I tried until it was time to leave, to occasionally blot the spot in the hopes that it would dry more quickly.  It was still visibly damp when we went to get my niece. Lovely, just lovely.

When I picked her up I warned her that I had spilled a bottle of water on the couch and that we would have to think of alternate sleeping arrangements.  Thankfully female ejaculant is clear and odorless.  I decided in needed to stop masturbating in community areas, at least when I am expecting guests.

Squirting feels amazing and I love that I can do it but it is kind of a pain in the ass.  The more frequently you squirt, the more you actually squirt.  It is messy and leaves a giant wet spot wherever you orgasm.  That part is horrible.  I need to invest in more towels or start put plastic on my furniture.  I will simply have to explain to my friends that I am not one of those crazy women trying to keep her ugly 1970s furniture looking brand new.

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