More Awkward Situations: The Squirting Story

couch“Shit!” I mumbled as I stared at the huge wet spot on my sofa.  I bent down and placed my hand on the spot.  It was still pretty wet.  “Shit, shit, shit!” I said out loud.  I grabbed a towel, laid it on the wet spot and pressed all the weight I could into the towel.  I removed the towel and checked the spot again.  It was still wet but not as bad as it had been.  It was still going to be noticeably damp for quite a while.

The wet spot roughly the ten inches in circumference wasn’t going to dry anytime soon and I had invited my niece to spend a few nights and have Thanksgiving dinner with me. She usually slept on the sofa. We also spent a great deal of time just sitting around chatting. There was no way anyone would be sitting or sleeping on my sofa that night.  I wasn’t worried about explaining what had happened.  I would simply ay I had spilt something on the couch. That was lie but I couldn’t and wouldn’t explain what really happened to a sixteen year old.

fire hoseA little while before I had to set out to pick my niece up it had occurred to me that I wouldn’t be having any orgasms for the week she would be here.  I decided I better get one in before she got there.  I needed to make it quick so I grabbed a toy, went to a porn site and got comfortable on the couch.  About three minutes later my legs were shaking as I started to climax.  As I finished and began to pull the toy out of my still contracting pussy.  As I did so it tightened, practically pushing the toy out. “Oh no!” I half groaned as I started to squirt.  I put my hand between my legs trying to stop the flow of liquid shooting out from between my legs.  This redirected the flow of the liquid quickly spraying the couch rather than spraying the wall in front of me.  I could feel the puddle of fluid collecting under my ass.

sprinklerI laid on the couch for a few moments still trembling and enjoying the after effects of my huge orgasm.  I then sat up and realized the fairly moderate pool of ejaculant was now soaking into me couch.  I tossed the toy aside and grabbed a towel, soaking up as much of it as I could.  I stood for a moment staring at the spot and checked again to see how wet the couch still was.  My squirting had become an almost every time occurrence during masturbation but I could usually limit or stop it by keeping whatever I was using (toy, fingers…) inside me while I was contracting.  I didn’t do that this time.

lake michiganI hadn’t been thinking clearly and now my couch looked like Lake Michigan.   If I want to watch porn I have to do it in the living room because my laptop doesn’t get a very good wi-fi signal otherwise.  I tried until it was time to leave, to occasionally blot the spot in the hopes that it would dry more quickly.  It was still visibly damp when we went to get my niece. Lovely, just lovely.

When I picked her up I warned her that I had spilled a bottle of water on the couch and that we would have to think of alternate sleeping arrangements.  Thankfully female ejaculant is clear and odorless.  I decided in needed to stop masturbating in community areas, at least when I am expecting guests.

Squirting feels amazing and I love that I can do it but it is kind of a pain in the ass.  The more frequently you squirt, the more you actually squirt.  It is messy and leaves a giant wet spot wherever you orgasm.  That part is horrible.  I need to invest in more towels or start put plastic on my furniture.  I will simply have to explain to my friends that I am not one of those crazy women trying to keep her ugly 1970s furniture looking brand new.

So So NSFW (Unless You Work in the Sex Industry… Then I Am Sure It Will Be Just Fine) Prelude to Squirting Story

Disclaimer: Some of you may not want to read this.  It is pretty graphic which I am good at but it still may make some of my regular readers uncomfortable.  This is a shining example of why I’ll never be Freshly Pressed.

imagesCAFRDJHVThe first time I squirted I was in my late teens and was the only one in the room.  I didn’t know what the hell had happened.  I actually thought I peed while I was masturbating.  I was young and had no one to ask about it. It proved to be an isolated incident.  Years later, in my twenties I discovered women could ejaculate but I hadn’t had that happen since I was a teenager and I shrugged it off.

As any woman who squirts knows, when you can squirt (and I’ve actually read most women can but don’t have a partner who can get her to the point that she would) you feel a lot of pressure as your vagina tightens.  When this happens it feels a lot like you have to pee.  So at a young age I assumed that is what happened.  After said initial incident, I would often feel like I was going to pee/squirt during sex but it never happened. I really didn’t think much of it. When I watched porn if a girl squirted  I didn’t really relate it to what I was experiencing.

squirting1I didn’t squirt again until I was 37.  I had randomly hooked up with a much younger guy.  While we were having sex (Pakistani Drill Press), as I started to cum and tighten up he pulled out.  My entire body became tenser and I became aware of the warm liquid that was now running down the inside of my legs, down my pussy and all over my partner’s abdomen. As my body relaxed, he slid his index and ring fingers curved face upward into my still trembling pussy, began massaging my g-spot and moved his hand up and down quickly until my body tensed again.  My sheet was quickly becoming saturated and as he started the movement again I grabbed his wrist.  He smiled at me and said, “I didn’t know you could squirt.” “Neither did I,” I responded.  He shook his hand free of my hold and made me come one more time to prove it. When I asked him how he knew to pull out he explained that his last girlfriend squirted.  He explained that when a girl is going to squirt it feels like her pussy is pushing him out. I asked him about nine million questions and he answered the best he could.

imagesCAKTZIX4I had sex several times after that and didn’t squirt again.  About a month after the incident I began sleeping with another man who asked if I could squirt and I told him that I couldn’t do it reliably. He could make me squirt with his fingers too. A few partners later (What?!?! I told you I get around), it happened during anal and then again with the guy after that.  I never squirted regularly.  I orgasm easily but I didn’t always squirt.

squirting3After a while I was able to do it masturbating.  This is not something I like to happen when I am alone because the novelty of it doesn’t really thrill me and it is kinda’ messy. Because I masturbate a lot and my squirting is involuntary, it happens just about every time I have alone time, now.  I don’t projectile squirt like Cytherea but my orgasm do seem to be getting stronger. I can sometimes stop it just by not removing whatever is inserted in vagina but then it builds up and after two or three times of not squirting when my body wants to, I squirt a lot.  This can be a problem when I just want to rub one out quickly and go about my business because there tends to be a giant wet spot somewhere. I live in very closed quarters with limited wifi access. This means if I want to watch porn and masturbate I have to go to the living room…

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