More Awkward Situations – “I Can’t Think of Anything I‘d Like Less.”

A few weeks back I went and saw a friend I haven’t seen in a while.  We spent the entire night bullshitting and drinking.  It was just me, her and her live-in boyfriend.  We have had some issues due in large part to the fact that she thinks her boyfriend is attracted to me.  I just stopped going to visit because she always said something about it and it was incredibly uncomfortable for me.

I don’t know if she has gotten over insecurity but last time I was there, she and her boyfriend seemed to have come up with a solution to the problem.  It wouldn’t solve a damn thing for me but it seemed to be something they felt would remedy the situation.  Why they thought it was a good idea was beyond me but if I had known what they were up to I probably wouldn’t have gone over.

About five beers into the evening, my friend and her boyfriend were by their back door being uncomfortably affectionate in front of me.  I was on the couch trying to watch television while she tried to persuade him to go upstairs for some fun.  He told her that she had company and I said “I don’t give a shit.  Do what you want.”  “Would you come up and watch us?” her boyfriend asked.  I looked at him for any indication that he was joking.  He turned to his girlfriend to confirm that this was a scenario she would be okay with.  “Do you want to?” she asked with a shrug.  “I can’t think of anything I would like less,” I answered and returned my attention to the television.  They never did go have “fun.”

I am not opposed to the idea of watching two people fuck.  I like porn and live action porn would be an interesting experience.  It would also give me another story.  I love having stories.  My particular issues with this proposed scenario are numerous.  Firstly, this woman is like my sister.  I am friends with her entire family and I don’t think I could look her any of her relatives in the eyes if I had agreed to watch them fuck.  Secondly, she doesn’t trust me because she keeps telling me that she suspects her man wants me.  Thirdly, I too suspect that he is attracted to me and in no way want to encourage him.

Lastly and most importantly, I in no way, shape or form find either of them attractive.  I would go as far as saying they are both pretty unattractive.  Why would I want to watch ugly people fuck?  I wouldn’t watch them fuck unless I was forced to.  Rick James wasn’t there so that didn’t happen thankfully.   It would be like bad fetish porn that involved one of my family members.  Thanks but no thanks.

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