As of March 29th I have officially been writing this blog for two years. (I have the internet again, btw.) I can’t imagine that it has been that long. This blog has lasted at least 50% longer than any relationship I have had with a man. That is sad and funny to me all at the same time. I’ve put my heart into this blog and I hope that it continues to grow in years to come.
I hope you will all help me celebrate. I would like to hold a contest in honor of my milestone but first I want to know people are willing to participate. Does anyone want to win a cool t-shirt? If so please let me know in the comments below and I will get the post up.
Posted by trjensen on April 2, 2013
One last one... until I show up in one of Dolly's new comic strips, of course!
Posted by trjensen on February 11, 2013
Where's Teri? LOL! I am so tickled by this. It has made my year and it is only February.
Posted by trjensen on February 11, 2013
I am so super excited by this! I am in a comic strip and I am a damn cute cartoon character if I do say so myself! I love love love it!
Posted by trjensen on February 11, 2013
I finally hit 200,000 views! The closer I got to that number the longer it seemed to take for me to actually hit the number. It really wrapped the year up for me nicely. It was a great gift from all of you. I have really been working to get my audience back and slowly but surely I am finding a readership again. I have had a crazy year. I had my heart broken by the same man twice and moved to the middle of nowhere.
This year was also amazing. I got a job writing a regular column for Kink E-Magazine. I started my book (kinda’). I ended the year getting nominated for a Blog of the Year award. This year I really hope to get my book done. I hope I can get it published and that I will get a few more regular writing jobs.
I am excited for everything then new year holds. I feel like I am still trying to get back to where I was this time last year but I know I will get back there soon. I hope to get back to Portland this year but I am preparing myself for the possibility that I won’t get there this year because I vow to make my writing a priority. I just can’t imagine finding a partner here and actually wanting to stay.
I wish nothing but the best for you too. I love and appreciate you all sooo much. May we all have a blessed a prosperous New Year!
Posted by trjensen on January 1, 2013
As I have gotten older, I feel like I am getting dumber. Of course this is impossible because I am brilliant but my brain comes up short a lot more than it did when I was in my twenties. I have several theories for why this is.
- Google – Google is actually destroying my ability to retain information. We don’t need to remember things now because we can just google it and have the answer in 0.23 seconds. I remember a lot. I dare say I remember more things than most of the people I know. My brain just retains things, even unnecessary things. I remember random facts about movies, music and 16th century England. I know a little about a lot of things. Lately, I am finding it difficult to recall information I have known forever and as I struggle to remember I always hear, “Google it.” Fuck Google!
- Cellphones – Same issue except now it is phone numbers.
- Facebook – “ ” ” ” ” birthdays
- Memes – All those terrible, cliché’ memes. Okay, I love memes but what the fuck happened to finding our own inspiration… inspiring ourselves?
- Reality Television – Reality TV is terrible. It holds absolutely no value other than to illustrate that the more fake or ridiculous you are, the more famous you could be. Reality television is causing it’s audience to loss it’s perspective on life and how society actually functions. Interacting with these viewers makes me slightly dumber by association.
- Men – I don’t really think men are making me dumber (well maybe some of the ones I have dated…) I don’t think as rationally as I did when I was living in a penis free world. I feel like I let (and that is the key word) some men manipulate me and that is pretty stupid.
What are some of things you find are contributing to the dumbing down of America?
Posted by trjensen on November 15, 2012
This is probably my favorite prompt of all the prompts in this challenge. I am excited about writing it for a number of reasons. The main reason being, I want to set the record straight about what I expect in a man. I don’t have any crazy standards. I don’t care about what your annual salary is or how tall you are. (Taller than me would be nice.) But there are certain things that make guy completely undateable. They are listed below in no particular order.
- If you don’t have a job (or in this economy aren’t actively seeking employment) then I wouldn’t seriously date you. I just spent the last 20 years of my life supporting someone else and putting all his needs before mine. I did that because I loved my son but he is a grown ass man now. I don’t want to support a guy. I want someone who can take care of himself because I don’t expect anyone to take care of me.
- If you call women cunts I would probably exit your vicinity before our drinks even hit the table. No amount of alcohol would ever make that okay with me. I don’t give a shit what else you call a woman but don’t ever call her that. I say cunt all the time but I never use it to describe another woman. Prefer to call the things I stub my toe on cunts. I call annoying animals cunts. I might even call a person a cunt but you can’t. I hate hearing men use that word in a sentence with a female’s name. I would never go on another date with you.
- I absolutely hate the “V” gesture guys do. You know the one that involves a peace sign and your tongue. Nothing makes me want to punch a guy in the face more than one who thinks that doing that is going to turn me on. It actually dries me up like the Mohave Desert.
- Don’t spit in front of me. If something gross like a bug or pubic hair winds up in your mouth then of course I wouldn’t expect you to just keep it there until you are out of my presence. Spit that shit out. What I am talking about is anything that involves mucus. I don’t give a shit if you are on death’s door or just trying to exert your manliness, don’t fucking spit (or blow snot rockets) in my line of sight. Seeing guys do that turns my stomach and ruins your chances of making out without a good tongue brushing. And while we are on the subject, don’t do it in my shower and not bother rinse it down the drain either.
- Don’t insist I do anything I don’t want to do. If I say I don’t want to go ice skating then I don’t fucking want to go. No you won’t be able to teach me because five other guys just tried and I still can’t fucking ice skate. I have however had two sprained ankles and a torn tendon. If I say I don’t want to do something then attempting to coax me into it will just piss me off and make me feel like you don’t care about what I want.
- Don’t talk to my family about our real or potential sex life. Telling my kid “I am fucking hot.” (Yes this has happened) or telling my brother you would “Fuck me raw.” (Yup. This one too) is horribly embarrassing for me and awful for my family members Those are things you should say to me, when appropriate. Otherwise, I will assume you are stupid or crazy.
- Don’t say anything racist or that involves hate speech. I hate that shit. I will chastise you in public and leave you regardless of where we are. Alcohol is not an excuse for ignorance either. I am now certain you are stupid or crazy.
Maybe this should have been my “Day 1” prompt. I could have easily written 20 (or 100) of these.
Posted by trjensen on November 14, 2012
I have been writing this blog for a little over a year. When I started my blog I was just beginning to understand myself and what I really wanted in life. I was starting to examine what was important to me, why it was important and trying to achieve so many goals. I have grown a lot this year. I’ve really found my voice.
This period in my life and everything I have learned has taught me so much about who I am and who I want to continue to be. I love sharing my experiences some positive and some that were more difficult lessons to learn. I wouldn’t trade any of it. I am so thankful that I continue to have this outlet to share my life and experiences and that it is in some way a benefit to others.
I am really proud of my blog. I look forward for continuing to grow and share the lessons in my life with you. (And hopefully no one will get sick of reading it)
When I was in my twenties, trying to accept my future as a cat lady, I had guy friend who was kind of a manwhore. Because he was so promiscuous I was baffled when he started dating a young woman who was very religious. I just didn’t get it. He genuinely seemed to like her which made no sense to me because he never had real girlfriends and it seemed impossible to me that he could actually abstain.
One night I asked him how was handling with abstinence. He smirked at me and assured me that he and the girl who actually dragged him with her to bible study three times a week were not abstaining. I was confused because as I stated when I stopped having sex at twenty-four bjs were barely on the menu for me so anything else happening was not even on mind (I know it’s hard to imagine.) He then told me one of the craziest stories I had heard until that point in my life.
It seemed that, to his girlfriend, as long as her hymen was still intact until she was married that she was a virgin. So rather than abstain she had anal sex with her boyfriends. Her logic was faulty to me. Anal sex is sex. I asked him if he considered her a virgin and he said no. That poor girl had lots of boyfriends before she finally got married a few years later. Her hymen may have been intact but I always joked she would likely needs Depends after the birth of her first child.
It is funny to me because most men argue with me about whether or not she is a virgin. Guys always say she was still a virgin while my female friends agreed that by having sex she wasn’t. What do you think? If a woman has only had anal sex is she still a virgin?
Posted by trjensen on April 24, 2012
I started writing the open for my book today so I thought I might share a two part essay I wrote for another blog. I hope you enjoy it.
I Heart Writing!
Most people know writing can be very therapeutic. It is a great way to vent, to be creative and to examine yourself and the world around you. For me this has always been the best way for me to express myself. I can make sense of the jumble of thoughts in my head, articulate my dreams and fantasies, and share some of the useless information and random facts that takes up so much space in my head. I can honestly say it has saved me.
I learned to read and write when I was four. I started out writing short stories and plays. I learned cursive before I started the first grade. I remember my mother arguing with my first grade teacher about this. My mother told her I had learned to write in cursive over the summer. The teacher then questioned my actual comprehension and implied that was merely drawing the letters I had seen on the cover of my writing tablet. My mother became upset, took my tablet, wrote three simple sentences and had me read them to the teacher. My first grade teacher was never very fond of me.
Due to the anxiety that awkward situation I hated to read and write in class. I would go home and write. I filled up mountains of writing tablets at home but did poorly writing in school. I wrote about everything from my little brother to a rewrite of the bible. I was raised Catholic and was certain, at six years old, I was going to hell. I had snuck one too many cookies, hit my brother, and lied to my dad. I was surely damned. I decided to change the things in the bible that could be applied to my indiscretions and then my soul would surely be saved. This resulted in my first trip to the principal’s office (but not the last.)
Unlike my first grade teacher my second grade teacher loved that I could articulate so well on paper although I was anxious and shy in school. I wrote day and night. In fifth grade, my first year in public school, teachers started submitting my work in local and regional writing competitions and I started winning. I actually continued to win writing competitions through my junior year in high school. I started my first “novel” when I was in the ninth grade with my best friend Briana. We finished our epic about high school and romance in the tenth grade. (I have no idea happened to that manuscript?) I started college level writing courses the summer after my ninth grade year. I continued to write. I resided predominately in my imagination and not very grounded in the real world.
At seventeen I was pulled back into reality where I was forced to live for the next three years. I regard this period as one of the most eventful and the unhappiest of my life. At twenty-one I started to write again. I didn’t write a lot but I was writing and there was a noticeable change in my voice and mindset. At the age of twenty-four I attempted to write my first screenplay at the urging of another close friend. I began reading everything I could about production, the creative process and the film business. For the first time I was certain what I wanted. I spent the next five years reading and writing every waking hour of the day. I was exhausted but very happy.
My Big Break . . .
Posted by trjensen on April 18, 2012