Things I Can Do Without: Video Chat

I hate video chatting.  I have never had an issue with video chatting with female friends. Guys on the other hand… I hate it so much.  I’ve stayed in touch with Pretty Boy.  We were friends before we dated and we have mutual friends so in some capacity we’ll always be forced to interact a little. I would prefer those interactions aren’t awkward.

Our whole attempt at dating didn’t work and that feeling was mutual.  We are both happy with where we stand.  (I say this all, knowing full well he would still like to have sex with me in a casual capacity and he knows I won’t do it so he brings it up every time we talk. It is this little game we play.) We speak once every two months or so.  Since my move, he’s moved to the east coast and occasionally we check in with each other.

Since my birthday, we’ve talked every day.  He’s lonely and not having anyone I am interested in actively pursuing me has made his attention all that more appealing.  We aren’t going to see each other but having a gorgeous 27 year old man tell me how desirable and beautiful I am makes me happy.

vc1He constantly trying to get me to Skype with him and more recently to download Tango (An app that allows you to video chat from your phone) so we can video chat.  What he actually wants is to watch me get flustered when he shameless flirts with me.  He thinks it is cute and watching me get embarrassed amuses him.

Side Note: PB is insanely hot.  He is as my son once observed, “The hottest guy I’ve ever dated.”  I would be lying if I said I didn’t still think about him naked.

I have always made up some excuse why I wasn’t available to video chat with him. I just don’t want to do it.  I don’t want him to think we are going to have some mutual masturbation session or whatever else might be going on in his head.  I would find that frustrating.  I find phone sex frustrating.  I masturbate alone.  I have sex with a partner. Any alternative is annoying to me.

That is just my anxiety talking.  I wouldn’t like it and don’t want to do it but the real reason I avoid it is because I feel like I look like shit on camera (I love pictures.  I photograph well; video is a whole other animal.)

vcSo anyway… Yesterday, after days of pestering me to do it, I downloaded Tango.  Within minutes my phone was ringing and there was PB lying on his bed, head propped up on his arm, smiling at me all seductively. He looked adorable and yummy.  I, on the other hand, was fresh off a run, no make-up, wearing workout clothes, looked about as great as I felt which was the polar opposite of adorable and yummy.

While I was asking him how work was and he was responding suggestively (“Long and hard.”), I just stared at the little video of me  on the lower left hand side of the screen, mortified by my own reflection.  After a minute or two I thought I was going to drive myself crazy just staring at that image.  Then the app froze up and I hung up the phone.  I text him and told him to just call me.

“But you’re so sexy.”  He replied.

“And you are obviously drunk.” I typed just before my phone started ringing.

I know I am attractive and I love looking at myself but for some reason video chat just isn’t my medium. The angles are all unflattering and I am just too neurotic to ignore it.  So I hate video chatting. Video doesn’t do me justice.  I am just better in 3



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  1. Shoo-be-doo-wop (shoo-be-doo-wop) I wanna love you (shoo-be-doo-wop) computer love!

    • I suck at that stuff. I really just don’t get it. The texting I can do. The rest of it is in no way satisfying to me. And video sex is too wierd. It makes me feel like I did the first time someone showed me chat roulette. It’s funny and pointless.

      • That is a very long and interesting reply to two lines of a song lyric! :P

        Seriously, though: I have to say I also don’t get it. Texting perhaps, as foreplay, I guess. But everything else, I don’t know, It’s too funny to be exciting.

      • Sorry about that. I just felt like rambling I suppose. It is funny and awkward. I don’t find any sort of pleasure in that level of awkwardness.

  2. Ha. I think I look at shit on vid too. but probably do not! imagine if real life had a little box where you could watch yourself. I turn mine off so not distracted by it.
    I find the vid sex/phone sex is totally about dynamic. some people ugh not a chance, creepy, uncomfortable. a couple been lots of fun!

    • I am no good with the phone/video sex thing. It doesn’t do anything for me. I just find it frustrating and awkward.

  3. IT IS frustrating and awkward! But if you absolutely must do it – Lighting is everything. You virtually have to have a bright light/or sun blaring into your face. No shadows. It’s the only thing that works.

  4. I haven’t video chatted either… Ugh. 40 something and all the new dating tech… What’s a boy to do?

  5. I died laughing, you’re sooo hilarious! And for some reason, PB makes me think of Peanut Butter Boy,he’s nuts for you! :D

    • He is just nuts. I like talking to him but the relationship stuff was never very fulfilling with him.

      • HAHA…yeah.. I find sometimes the hotter the guy… the fluffier the conversation.. sigh… muscles don’t always add weight to the relationship…

      • That is very true. It just didn’t work. The more time we spent to together the less I felt for him.

      • Wooooo…. shiver, I definitely have had that experience with someone.. it’s like their muscles fade, and all you have left is their personality…

      • This is true.

  6. lol, I don’t like these because I am usually doing something else while talking on the phone and half listening. Also, most guys get excited over video chats for potential nudity. Not happening. And why are the vids so unflattering! You really do have to find the right lighting.
    But if it was all about looking great and having compliments thrown at me for 30 min. to an hour, I’d be on it all the time!

    • He was being completely flattering but I couldn’t stop staring at myself. I was way too distracted.

  7. Brandon

     /  June 12, 2013

    He is as my son once observed, “The hottest guy I’ve ever dated.”

    Just out of curiosity, is your son gay? It sounds like he has the hots for PB.

    • Well I normally say something when he is dating a pretty girl… I am not homosexual… (Not that I would mind if he were.)

      I think he was making an observation


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