The One When My Friend Thought I Had an STD

So as all of the internet knows, I had a doctor’s appointment Monday.  I also had a training at work which I had to leave to go to my doctor’s appointment.  I was in a panic and stressed about returning to the meeting let before I even left so I was good and anxious when the doctor sat down in front of me.  He asked about my health history and if there were any particular reason I had come to see him.

I explained the situation and must have seemed even more tightly wound than I felt because he asked me several time if I was being treated for anxiety or depression.  I assured him it was definitely more anxiety but both.  I told what I was taking and how much.  He started me on a lower dose because apparently starting up on my dose after a two month hiatus could make me pretty sick. But… I did get my prescription and follow up appointment.

pillsLike I’ve said here and in a piece I recently wrote for Black Box Warnings, I don’t really talk about my issues or medication with anyone.  I feel like people make basic assumptions about people who are treated for emotional problems and I manage myself just fine.  I am just as capable if not more capable than most of the people I know.  Only handful of my friends know I am on medication and most of them found out in a roundabout way.  I didn’t just dome out and offer up that information.  Actually, the last couple of guys I dated never knew either and I practically lived with one of them.  He knew I was taking something every day.  He didn’t ask what and I never felt inclined to offer up that information.

This caused a pretty interesting and somewhat insulting misunderstanding for me yesterday.  I’ve been staying with a friend who lives a neighboring town (where I’ve picked up some extra hours at another library branch) who I have been staying with on the days I work there.  I have known her for thirty-three years and until yesterday she did know I was taking anything.

condomShe drove me to the doctor’s and picked me up afterwards.  I just told her I had an appointment I couldn’t miss it.  I also told her, a week or so ago, about my most recent ex and his recent discovery that he had gotten a treatable STD from some skank he dated briefly.  (And he wonders why I always insisted on condoms).

Now he dated this woman two months ago.  The last time I saw him was July.  All she heard was he has cooties and I urgently needed to go to the doctor.  A+(selective hearing)B= My best friend had cooties.

I was totally unaware of her assumption.  I went to the doctor. They phoned in my prescription. I made it back to work before our lunch break was over. When II got off of work I hopped on a bus, picked up my prescription and went back to her place.

stdLater that night when she got off work she asked me about my day and if I had picked up my prescription. I told her I had and then she (kinda’ smugly) asked, “How long do you have to take them?” I thought it was odd she would ask me until I realized she thought I had gone because I had contracted (apparently through long distance osmosis) what ailed my ex.  I looked at her for a long minute and answered, “For the rest of my life…” “Ooooh, it’s one of those” she said as though something had clicked.

I assumed she knew what I was talking about but today on my way home it occurred to me she probably thinks I have herpes . Fuck! She totally thinks I have herpes.  So…

To my oldest friend in the world,

I don’t have herpes.  I don’t have any sexually transmitted diseases and I never have.  I am really big on safety. I can’t get something from someone who contracted something long after we stopped having sex.


The Narcissist


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  1. “Ooooh, it’s one of those”

    I’m sorry. But that’s hilarious. Is there even an std that you have to take medication for, for the rest of your life? Besides Aids?

    As far as I know, you can either remove it by a quick cure OR you just have it for the rest of your life and taking medication is useless. Right?

    • Taking antivirals for herpes or warts can keep the outbreaks under control.

      • That is what I thought. I have a few friends who have herpes. Fun Fact: I have a friend who found out her husband was cheating on her when he gave her herpes. He then tried to tell her he had gotten them from her.

    • It is very funny but also an annoying assumption on her part. I do think there is medication you can take to suppress the herpes simplex. I’d assume you’d have to take that forever. There is also Hep C. I don’t know though.

      I just wanted to go on the record because that is not something I would want people thinking I had. She should know me better than that.

      • Of course, it’s ridiculous. Totally unexpected from someone you know for such a long time, though…

      • She is an ass but to just assume she had something on me and not ask irked me. I love her though. We’ve known each other since we were seven. I just worry that her entire family will assume I have something now. I sure hope not. I should probably call her and clarify but I sure don’t want to, if I would have wanted her to know I would have told her a long time ago.

      • I think it’s best to just be open and honest about everything. Especially with someone you’ve known for such a long time.

        It’s weird that she didn’t do that though…

      • I don’t hide it but she didn’t ask either. If someone were to ask me straight out I would tell them. My closest friends know and when I was off my meds two of them knew it after about three minutes of conversation. One just came right out and asked me if I was okay and I told what was going on. The friend I referenced in this piece has never asked and assuming I have cooties doesn’t really make we want to share it with her.

        I would never lie about it but I don’t talk about it with just anyone, preconceived notions and all. :) I dated a guy a while ago who was talking briefly about his. He said she took pills for bipolar disorder and that they didn’t seem to do anything. I suggested that maybe ashe wasn’t on the right medication because they can help. He said anyone who took pills was crazy. I never went out with him again. That was just such an ignorant thing to say.

      • I can’t stand people like that. But good for you you dumped his ass.

        Ignorant bastards … brings us back to the hillbillies :P

      • He was a total hillbilly. He was surrounded by culture but had none and said stupid things like that all the time. But that statement was it. I had no desire to attempt to educate him. He wouldn’t have understood anyway.

  2. I was in a similar situation a little while ago. I stupidly kept putting off going to the doctors about my anxiety. By the time I built up the guts to go I’d started a new job.
    I had three appointments in the space of a month, which luckily my boss was completely fine about. But I’ve always wondered what they thought I was going for… I am paranoid like that.

    • It just never occurred to me that might be what people were thinking. I ran out of meds and couldn’t get an appointment right away. I finally got one but had to reschedule it due to a work conflict, that bumped it back another two months, at which point I was completely out of my medication and was really struggling to maintain an sense of control. It was a rough couple of months so when my work inservice was scheduled for the day of my appointment I stressed to anyone who would listen that I wasn’t missing that appointment.

      Everything intensifies when you stop taking your meds cold turkey. I felt like I was going to crawl out of my skin and kept building rather than dissipating. I had to go. It never occurred to me that my funny little sidenote about my ex would have been tied into my sense of urgencey about my appointment. I can see how it could but I didn’t link the two.

      I had other things on my mind, like not having a complete breakdown.

  3. What a funny story. It’s amazing what people assume.
    Also good job on being safe ;)

  4. Maybe this is a result of some miscommunication between you and your friend or maybe she just selectively chooses to listen to certain parts of your conversation but not all!

    • I am just not in the habit of offering information not relevant to our relationship. She just assumed what she wanted to.


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